I have the urge to write
About your underbite
(and your other imperfections)
If you'd blink
In sync
I'd find you cute
I would adore
If you wouldn't shit on the floor
(but you do)
If I didn't fail
To cut your toenails
You wouldn't click down the hall
I wanna stick a nail
In your whirly little tail
Just to make it straight
If you had a peg
As your fourth leg
I'd love you more
You are a fat
Overgrown rat
But I love you
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